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“Black Widows were sent by Satan to Destroy Us.”

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We saved the juiciest bits for part two.

The love for Bruce Campbell continues, along with a heartfelt plea to get him to come on the show.

Even just for five minutes.

Yeah, like that will ever happen.

Dan talks about the TV show pilot he was on, and who was sitting with them in the waiting room at MTV while waiting to pitch the show.

Jerry tells a rather personal tale of real life horror, involving lots of blood, possible murder, and hallucinogenics.

Kids, don’t do drugs.

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What a shocker.  Here on Zombie Beach, we actually talk about Zombies!

In this episode, which is split in two because the recording session went on so long, we start out discussing Dan’s need for a vampire because his body produces too much blood.

He then launches into a review of the new movie Grace, which he just saw, which leads us in to a discussion that delves deep into horror movies, touching on Donnie Darko, Shawn of the Dead, Army of Darkness, Bubba Ho-Tep, My Name is Bruce (we are both huge fans of Bruce Campbell), Tourist Trap, Phantasm, and anything by Ed Wood or with Godzilla in it.

NEWS FLASH: Someone is remaking Ed Wood’s Plan 9 From Outer Space.  Weird.

A tip of the hat goes out to the wonderful Japanese horror films, both past and present.

We say RIP to Patrick Swayze and Norman Borlaug.

Music featured this week was by Jami Sieber, available (as usual) at Magnatune.com.

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Besides the fact that Dan is busy with his new career in farming via Facebook, we have these fascinating things to share:

Jerry cannot remember his recent vacation – at all.

But he did get himself a fun new toy, with which he made this entire podcast over on GroovyBrew.com.

Also, we talk about the fascinating FootFlush, the wonderful and altogether fantastic Java Wand (heretofore erroneously referred to as a Coffee Crack Pipe), Jerry’s adventures with the Clarifi Case for the iPhone, the awesome service known as Evernote (your personal brain backup system), and Jerry also lusts in his heart for the cool Zoom Phone Adapter for Skype that he keeps seeing, and almost buying, at Wal-Mart.

We also cover Dan’s stint with VW Trends (and maybe even launch him on to a new career in outlaw Internet journalism) as well as pretty Kiev hookers.

Oh, and here is the short Internet film which was the inspiration for District 9:

Remember, if it’s on the Internet, it must be true.

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Dan’s been busy so I ended up spontaneously recording a short episode without him.

Part of this was recorded “live” on the go right after seeing District 9, and my friend Tim and I give that a friendly dissection in a Starbucks, inside Target, using a digital recorder I’d just purchase three minutes before.

Also this episode features music by Julia Nunes and Molly Lewis, both who are awesome.

(I called Julia “Julie” in the podcast… sorry!  At least the link above is right.)

(Also sorry to Target and to Sony, because I took the recorder back right after we did this … the quality is not quite enough to use for serious podcasting.)

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In this scintillating episode:

While in Alaska, Dan not only pans for gold, but samples the infamous Sour Toe Cocktail – featuring a real severed human toe.

(By the way, his new nickname is “Moose”)

(…and his wife wouldn’t kiss him for two days afterwards)

Also…

Vampires, werewolves, and zombies, oh my!

A Philip K. Dick animated Disney movie?

Bubbas of the Apocalypse.

Zombie child who likes turtles.

And… Dan comments on a very creepy and original new horror movie.

You know what?  If it’s on the Internet, it has to be true.

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This episode sets a new record for wandering subjects, but they’re all fun and interesting!

Martians attack, Sex in the City, Transformer’s II, dead celebrities, Dan being screwed over by a vineyard, beer and absinthe, and even the lady with the squirrel in her breasts gets a mention.

The music featured at the end is by our favorite band, Jim’s Big Ego.

Visit them at BigEgo.com

Oh, by the way, even if it makes us feel like dirty old men, we like Megan Fox.

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Jerry threw a gun into a river.

Dan shot an exploding watermelon with a submachine gun.

Jerry was nearly shot by a SWAT team.

Dan recommends watching Rubber Johnny.

Jerry thinks that video is too creepy to watch.

Dan once shot a hand gun big enough to kill an elephant.

Jerry once shot someone in the leg.

We decide that a gun is, in fact, the Pez Dispenser of Death.

Will you be armed when the Zombie Apocalypse strikes?

Thanks to Jim’s Big Ego for the fantastic theme song to this episode!

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Did Kermit and Miss Piggy have children?  If so, were they married?

Is this what a pig-frog looks like?

Why is it that people just never stop by anymore?

Do creepy neighbors do bad things to dwarfs?

Does Jerry really sound like Jeffrey Combs?

Awesome music provided by Burning Babylon off their album Knives To The Treble.